April 20, 2008 |
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If It Walks Like God and Quacks Like God...
The following is an interview with Howard Steckler, a fellow of the Exploratory Institute and an advocate of "intelligent design" -- a controversial new science that many critics dismiss as outdated religious dogma. Mr. Steckler's latest project involves translating a series of ancient Aramaic scrolls for a new book entitled Modern Theories of the Universe.
Of course. Intelligent design (ID) is a scientific theory which asserts that the origins of life and the universe were not accidental, but rather the result of an intelligent cause or designer.
That sounds an awful lot like Creationism.No, that's just the propaganda put forth by Big Science. You see, Big Science is being used as a front for Big Atheism. And Big Government, which funds Big Science with Big Money, funds Big Education so that Big Atheism can indoctrinate Big Children.
Can you explain the evidence for an intelligent designer?The evidence lies in the exquisite order and elegance of biology and physical laws. Simply put, such complexity can only originate from an intelligent designer.
So if complexity suggests the existence of a designer, where did the designer come from?You know, that is an excellent question. I'm awfully glad you asked me that. [Takes a long drink of water.]
...Well?Boy, that's good water. Would you care for some?
No, I'm fine. So where did this designer come from?I'll answer your question. Don't worry. I haven't forgotten. [Takes another long drink of water.] Ahh... that's refreshing. So what was your question?
Where did this intelligent designer come from?Right. Uh... intelligent design theory suggests that the designer itself came from... [He places his hand over his mouth and makes a ringing noise.] Excuse me, won't you? [Picks up phone.] Hello? No, I can't talk right now. I'm doing an interview. Okay, bye. [Hangs up.] Sorry, where were we? Oh yes. So in conclusion, that's where the designer came from.
Sorry, but you didn't answer my question.Yes, I did.
Fine, we'll move on. What kind of research is being done in the name of intelligent design?Oh, there are numerous research centers all over the country. For example there's an ID think tank in California called the Guild of Designers...
You mean "GOD"?Oh. Is that the acronym? I never noticed that before. Interesting.
Yes.Let's see... Then, of course, there are the researchers who publish their findings in the Journal of Evolutional Science Under Scrutiny.
Or "JESUS"?...Look, I know what you're trying to do. I can assure you that these are scientific organizations. I'm sure one could find unintentional meaning in anything if they wanted to.
I'm sorry. Please continue.Then there's the Organization of National Writers And Researchers Doing Continuous, Honorable Research In Seclusion To Incessantly Admonish Natural Science Of Lauding Darwinism In Evolution Research Studies.
..."ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS"??Look, I have had just about enough of your insinuations! Intelligent design is not religiously motivated! It is science!
I mean, come on -- Onward Christian Soldiers? That's not an accident. Even intelligent design theory would agree to that.That's it. This interview is over.
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