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© 2010 by Ryan Garns. All rights reserved.

Michael Moore Takes On WWII
By Ryan Garns
Michael Moore (pictured left, center and right) delights the crowd with his rendition of "Witchcraft" at a Karaoke For Peace rally.
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Controversial filmmaker and blue collar multi-millionaire Michael Moore is currently working on a new documentary. This time, Moore turns his camera on America's involvement in World War II and whether the Greatest Generation was really that great.
"I've always been bothered by mainstream Hollywood's view of World War II," says Moore between bites of his deep-fried peanut butter & pork log. "Their films are all very one-sided. It's as though the Axis countries were the only bad guys."
Moore hopes that his films will redefine patriotism. After his new film, patriotism will now also apply to lying, socialist junk historians.
The following is an excerpt from the screenplay in progress, provided to us by Moore's personal groomer:
BLACK SCREEN
Sounds of fighter planes flying overhead, dropping bombs,
explosions, and screaming women and children are heard.
MOORE (V.O.)
The Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor
on December 7, 1941. Some 2,403
Americans were killed and 1,178 were
wounded, all because of an economic
blockade that America had imposed on
Japan. Once again, America had chosen
not to come to the negotiating table.
Instead it showed its arrogance by
believing its interests were more
important than those of other nations.
INT. WHITE HOUSE - OVAL OFFICE - DAY
President Roosevelt is shown sitting behind his desk.
MOORE (V.O.)
When President Franklin Roosevelt
was first told of the attack, aides
close to him said that Roosevelt did
not get out of his chair. He just
sat there. And sat. And sat. One
White House aide was quoted as saying,
"It must have been hours before he
got up from his chair."
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Continuing several pages later...
EXT. PARIS - MONTAGE
A series of peaceful Parisian images flash before the screen.
The citizens are all going about their lives, oblivious to
any danger; flying kites, having weddings, being rude to
tourists, etc. Then suddenly...
SMASH CUT TO:
EXT. UTAH BEACH - MORNING
Explosions and gunfire rock the beaches of Normandy as
American higgens boats and soldiers storm the coastlines.
MOORE (V.O.)
On June 6, 1944, the United States,
along with England and Canada, invaded
France. America suffered the most
casualties with 6,603 while British
and Canadian casualties were barely
over half that. This was a
"coalition"? This was "sharing the
burden"? It's also estimated that
nearly 20,000 innocent French
civilians were killed by misguided
Allied bombing. While some say the
Normandy invasion turned the tide of
the war, it does not change one simple
fact: that France had never murdered
a single American citizen.
EXT. NEW YORK CITY - DAY
War protestors march the streets with signs that read "No
blood for cheese".
MOORE (V.O.)
Why were our efforts being diverted
to France? It was Japan, after all,
that had attacked us on December
7th. Just because there were some
Germans there? Germans who were also
not involved in the attacks of
December 7th? The President declared
his goal was to liberate France, but
Roosevelt, a well-known cheese
aficionado, must have also been
tempted to get his hands on the
country's chief export.
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Moore has already signed a deal with a distributor for his film, and he looks forward to threatening them with a censorship lawsuit just prior to release.
This piece was originally published on mondoshow.com

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