If The Federalist Papers Had Been a Blog

By Ryan Garns

The Federalist Papers were a series of essays written between 1787 and 1788 by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison and John Jay. Published in various New York newspapers, these essays were intended to persuade voters to ratify the newly conceived Constitution, as well as promote the merits of this new form of government.

The following is how these essays might have been presented had the internet existed in the 1700s...

May 28, 1788

Should There Be a Bill of Rights?

Posted by AHamiltonRocks537 at 8:05 AM

Hi, all! I just got back from Weehawken, New Jersey (what a dump!) where I challenged a scoundrel named Harrison to a duel over a disagreement on economics. The outcome? Harrison was about as good a shot as he was an economist. I am the duel master! Honestly, I don't see how I could ever lose at these things.

Anyhoo, I wanted to post the latest development regarding the new Constitution. Although it is a vast improvement over the Articles of Confederation, there are still some delegates who incessantly want to keep tinkering with it. I won't name any names, but this person (whose name rhymes with "Mames Jadison") has suggested that the Constitution should include a so-called "bill of rights" that would limit the government's control over its citizens. This bill would include such rights as a free press, gun ownership, and due process, among others.

Personally I think this is overkill, and another example of Maddy trying to one-up everyone. I also believe that the inclusion of such a bill would be dangerous, as it would imply that any right NOT mentioned is now fair game for government control.

What do you think? Feel free to post your comments below. Also I'll soon be posting a video of my duel in Jersey just as soon as I can get my OS to stop crashing. (I know, I should have stayed with Colonial Edition.)

-AH

Comments:

Publius @ 05/28/88 08:15:46 AM

What if we included a provision for unenumerated rights? Something like "Certain rights not expressly written in the Constitution shall still be retained by the people"? Wouldn't that help prevent the government from usurping unwritten rights?

Death2Tories @ 05/28/88 08:17:33 AM

Publius said:

lol yeah, that would totally solve everything.

Go back to Britain, n00b.

PhilSexy @ 05/28/88 08:26:07 AM

Great post, AHamiltonRocks537! By the way if you're planning of having another duel soon you should check out my website:

http://www.guns4patriots.com

Rebelicious @ 05/28/88 08:32:16 AM

I've got an unenumerated right: to kick your ass!

Patriot123 @ 05/28/88 08:38:32 AM

Rebelicious said:

I've got an unenumerated right: to kick your ass!

TheWhigster @ 05/28/88 08:40:44 AM

I think it would be quite simple to write a Bill of Rights that everyone can agree to. In fact I've written up a list of what I believe to be basic human rights. I came up with 2,522,687 of them. Of course, I've divided this number into sections: men get all the rights, women get 1,296, and the coloreds get 3. It's all perfectly clear. I don't see the problem.

PhilSexy @ 05/28/88 08:43:04 AM

Great post, Whigster! By the way if you're planning on writing more lists you should check out my website:

http://www.stationary4patriots.com

Death2Tories @ 05/28/88 08:45:18 AM

Rebelicious said:

I've got an unenumerated right: to kick your ass!

Troll.

Publius @ 05/28/88 08:51:13 AM

What is wrong with you people? Don't you all understand what is at stake here?

We just fought a war for our independence and now we have been presented with a unique opportunity to include a Bill of Rights in our Constitution that will preserve the things we hold dear. Like the freedom of speech, which allows us to post our views on this blog in the first place! And all you can think of is to post stupid comments and promote your shyster websites??

Don't any of you have anything intelligent to say? Aren't you concerned about the future of this country? Don't you even CARE about preserving your basic human freedoms??

Just remember: freedom doesn't come free.

Rebelicious @ 05/28/88 08:59:21 AM

Ur mom doesn't come free.

Patriot123 @ 05/28/88 09:04:19 AM

Rebelicious said:

Ur mom doesn't come free.

FTW!

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