© 2010 by Ryan Garns. All rights reserved.
September 28, 2008 |
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24 Comments 
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Live Blog Sex
| Live Blog Sex | (9/27/2008) |
| 9:45 | Hello everyone! Welcome to my live blog. |
| 9:46 | I just got back from dinner with my girlfriend and, by all indications, it looks like we're about to have sex. |
| 9:46 | She's in the bathroom at the moment and I'm waiting on the bed. I'm feeling good about this. |
| 9:47 | Although I'm starting to think the Admiral's Feast platter at Red Lobster was a bad choice. |
| 9:48 | [Comment From Guest] Do you think your menu selection will have an undue influence on the proceedings this evening? |
| 9:49 | Good question. I hope not. Luckily we'll be using a waterbed, so any embarrassing bodily noises can be blamed on that. |
| 9:50 | Let's have our first poll... |
| 9:50 |
How much time should we spend on foreplay?
0-5 minutes (43%)
(55%)
(2%)
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| 9:51 | Here she comes... |
| 9:52 | She's all over me, kissing... |
| 9:55 | She just told me I kiss like I'm in a movie! |
| 9:55 | [Comment From Tara] Ouch! That's not good. |
| 9:56 | That could be a compliment, though, right? |
| 9:57 | [Comment From Joe] No way, dude. |
| 9:58 |
Was it meant as a compliment?
Yes (20%)
(60%)
(20%)
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| 10:00 | She's on top of me and undoing my belt. Sorry if I miss some of your questions at this point... |
| 10:02 | I just farted a little. I coughed and shook the bed to cover it. I think I fooled her. I'd better kiss her before the odor hits her. |
| 10:03 | I just flipped her over. Now I'm on top of her. |
| 10:04 | This laptop is getting cumbersome. I may have to switch to my Blackberry. |
| 10:06 | She just said "Bring your love boat into port, Captain Stubing!" Not sure how to respond. |
| 10:06 | [Comment From Joe] Better do what she says! |
| 10:07 | Uh oh! I'm about to cum but she's not done!! What do I do?? HELP!!! |
| 10:07 | [Comment From Guest] Quick! Look at this!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynjIoymWHvU |
| 10:08 | Thanks! That was close... |
| 10:10 | She's moaning louder now. I think she's about to orgasm. |
| 10:10 | [Be Right Back Countdown] 5 minutes |
| 10:15 | That's it. It's over. |
| 10:16 | She just told me I'm "amazing" in bed. Woo hoo! |
| 10:16 | [Comment From Tara] She was faking it. |
| 10:17 |
Was she faking it?
Yes (85%)
(10%)
(5%)
|
| 10:20 | Hmm... must be a lot of female readers out there. |
| 10:21 | This Live Blog has now ended. |
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"Mr. Garns has written some extremely funny stuff (some less so) for our enjoyment. Moreover, his audience comments provide a compelling glimpse of cynicism. I highly recommend a trip down Garns Way."
- Adam H. Klein, The Equanimist
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