Did you miss Keith Olbermann’s latest tirade on “Countdown”? If MSNBC’s feeble ratings are any indication, you’re not alone. Never fear! Just read the following Olbermann Rant TemplateTM, customize the content where applicable, and voila! You’ll be up-to-date on the full extent of Olby-Wan’s usual insights…
Finally tonight, as promised, a Special Comment on and how the Republican party .
Sir, I am unable to contain my any longer. Your very existence causes me to at the thought of having to comment about you. Yet, comment I must, for you continue to .
I am, of course, referring to the recent comments you made in an interview with where you said, and I quote: This is beyond the pale, sir! Your words were so hateful that I would have expected them to come from !
How dare you, sir! Your careless words belittle the life’s work of some of the greatest Democratic leaders in history. Leaders such as , who have dedicated, and in some cases, risked their lives to ensure that . How dare you!
If the last presidential election has taught us anything, it’s that . Face it: your attitudes and beliefs are as extinct as . In short, sir, you are nothing more than a !
Please, sir, go back to your and leave the rest of us to run the country!
Good night and good luck.
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Grunt is an exciting new micro-blogging site, or what we like to call “micro-micro-blogging”.
Grunt is based on the idea that people’s attention spans are dwindling. We see that news stories have been replaced by soundbytes; proper grammar has been replaced by “lite speak”; and now blogging is quickly being replaced by micro-blogging, such as Twitter and Facebook statuses. In fact, you’re probably getting bored just reading this, aren’t you?
Grunt takes this a step further by providing even faster online interaction. Grunt member posts are limited to 5 characters only! Also no capital letters, punctuation, or special characters are allowed, as that would only slow down the stream. (Basically anything that requires pressing the shift key would threaten the flow of instant gratification.)
Here is an example of a typical thread on Grunt:
If brevity is the soul of wit, then clearly Grunt is home to some of the wittiest commentary on the web today!
Can I post photos to Grunt?
No. It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words — that’s way too much information! We want to stay ahead of the social media curve, which means not taxing our members’ brains with such a complex message.
Let’s put it this way: every time your brain registers a complete thought, you risk missing out on several incomplete thoughts whizzing by you! You want to be left behind? There just isn’t time for coherence in today’s new media. But I’ve said too much already.
Can I access Grunt from my mobile phone?
Amazingly, yes! It may not seem like it, but Grunt’s interface is ideally suited for mobile phone texting, especially phones with truncated keypads and annoying auto-complete functionality. Did you accidentally enter “rolf” instead of “rotfl”? It doesn’t matter. This is Grunt!
Do I own the copyright to my grunts?
According to our terms of service, we own all intellectual property rights of anything you post to Grunt. Any member caught repeating the same five characters in another medium will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
What’s the future of Grunt?
We have high hopes for Grunt. Like YouTube and Twitter, Grunt hopes to influence and become part of the national dialogue. Posting an incisive “lol” or “meh” during a Grunt discussion on stem-cell research could reverberate throughout Washington, calling for social change on a grassroots level.
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