And now it’s time to introduce a new feature here on RyanGarns.com: audio podcasts! That’s right, we’ve finally moved into the era of “talkies”. This will be a randomly recurring feature consisting of mostly improvised material, usually recorded in an act of desperation and after a few drinks.
I’d also like to point out that I take no responsibility for the poor quality of any celebrity impersonations contained therein. If you don’t like it, go watch a Frank Caliendo special. I dare ya.
So without further ado, here’s the long-anticipated (that is, about 68 words ago) first podcast…
Did you miss Keith Olbermann’s latest tirade on “Countdown”? If MSNBC’s feeble ratings are any indication, you’re not alone. Never fear! Just read the following Olbermann Rant TemplateTM, customize the content where applicable, and voila! You’ll be up-to-date on the full extent of Olby-Wan’s usual insights…
Finally tonight, as promised, a Special Comment on
and how the Republican party
Sir, I am unable to contain my
any longer. Your very existence causes me to
at the thought of having to comment about you. Yet, comment I must, for you continue to
I am, of course, referring to the recent comments you made in an interview with
where you said, and I quote:
This is beyond the pale, sir! Your words were so hateful that I would have expected them to come from
How dare you, sir! Your careless words belittle the life’s work of some of the greatest Democratic leaders in history. Leaders such as
, who have dedicated, and in some cases, risked their lives to ensure that
. How dare you!
If the last presidential election has taught us anything, it’s that
. Face it: your attitudes and beliefs are as extinct as
. In short, sir, you are nothing more than a
Please, sir, go back to your
and leave the rest of us
to run the country!
Good night and good luck.
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